You’ve likely heard me share the Brené Brown quote, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” This phrase underscores the importance of clear communication. In many organizations, including social services and faith-based groups, we sometimes rely too heavily on false politeness or humor to avoid conflict or causing hurt feelings or upset. However, this leads to feedback that is watered down, vague, or indirect, which ultimately causes confusion, frustration, and resentment.
Remember, being clear is not only kind but also necessary for growth. Avoiding difficult conversations does more harm than good. Show that you care about your staff person’s development by providing clear, direct feedback. Care enough to have a difficult conversation.
Using the SBI Feedback Model
One effective method is the SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact) feedback model – developed by the Center for Creative Leadership. The SBI model helps remove ambiguity and emotion from feedback, making it clear and constructive.
- Situation: Describe the specific situation where the behavior occurred. For example, “In the meeting last Friday…”
- Behavior: Clearly state the behavior observed. For instance, “You interrupted several colleagues…”
- Impact: Explain the impact of this behavior. Like, “This caused confusion and disrupted the flow of the discussion.”
This model helps you stay objective and focused on the behavior and its impact.
Examples of SBI Feedback
When addressing dress code violations, rather than saying, “You’re dressed inappropriately,” be specific:
- Situation: “Today, you wore jeans with holes and flip-flops to court.”
- Behavior: “Our dress code requires professional attire, such as dress pants and closed-toe shoes.”
- Impact: “Dressing professionally ensures your credibility in court.”
- Expectation: “In the future, please adhere to our dress code by wearing appropriate professional attire.”
For a tardiness issue, instead of, “You’re always late” or “You’re unreliable,” say:
- Situation: “Last week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday…”
- Behavior: “You arrived 20 minutes late for your shift.”
- Impact: “This caused your team members to cover for you, delaying their own work and affecting overall team productivity.”
- Expectation: “It is the agency’s expectation that you arrive on time, ready to work, for your shifts as scheduled.”
Types of Employee Challenges to Address with Feedback
According to Dick Grote’s Discipline Without Punishment model and book, employee challenges typically fall into three categories: attendance issues, performance issues, and conduct issues. Here’s how to offer SBI feedback for each type:
- Attendance Issues
- Situation: “In the past month, you have had four unplanned and unexcused absences on W, X, Y, and Z dates.”
- Behavior: “You called out for your shift less than 24 hours in advance as agency policy requires. Specifically, you called out with less than 2 hours notice on all four occasions.”
- Impact: “This caused your team members to cover for you, requiring them to stay for an additional shift after they were supposed to be off or being called in on their planned day off. The late notification also caused them to delay their work and make calls to find someone to cover your shift – affecting overall team productivity, trust, and morale.”
- Expectation: “It is the agency’s expectation that unplanned and unexcused absences do not exceed the maximum of two in any one month or four in any one quarter as outlined in the Employee Handbook on page XX.”
- Note that you can typically find expectations to reference for attendance issues in your agency’s Employee Handbook or your departmental policy manual.
2. Performance Issues
- Situation: “In the last month, during our weekly reporting meetings…”
- Behavior: “You have consistently submitted your reports late.”
- Impact: “This delays our ability to review and act on the data, impacting project timelines and client satisfaction.”
- Expectation: “Reports need to be submitted on time. Ensure that all reports are completed and submitted by the deadline moving forward.”
- Note that you can typically find expectations to reference for performance issues in your employee job descriptions and departmental policy manual.
- Conduct Issues
- Situation: “In yesterday’s team meeting…”
- Behavior: “You rolled your eyes and interrupted a colleague multiple times.”
- Impact: “This behavior is disrespectful and disrupts the flow of discussion, creating a negative team environment.”
- Expectation: “It’s essential to maintain a respectful and professional demeanor in meetings. Please refrain from interrupting colleagues and exhibit positive body language.”
- Note that you can typically find expectations to reference for conduct issues in your organization’s Values Statements, Employee Handbook, and employee job descriptions.
Addressing Difficult Feedback Situations
In my experience, there are three common challenging feedback scenarios:
- Defensiveness: If someone becomes defensive, pause and address the issue of receiving feedback itself. Make it clear that accepting feedback is a job expectation.
- Emotional Reactions: If someone gets emotional, give them a break. Suggest they take some time to compose themselves before continuing the conversation. Have some tissues available. Give them some silence and time to compose themselves. Offer to take a break for an hour so they can take a walk and get a drink of water.
- Deflection and Blaming: If deflection occurs, refocus on the original issue and the importance of accepting feedback. Remind the employee that you are having a feedback conversation with them to support their development and success in their role. Share that this is not a conversation about their peers or colleagues and that just as you would not discuss their business with others, you will not discuss their peers’ or colleagues’ businesses with them.
Positive Feedback
Don’t underestimate the power of providing positive feedback. Use the SBI model to be specific about what someone did well. This not only reinforces desired behaviors but also helps individuals understand their strengths.
If you’ve previously given someone feedback on an area for improvement and they then proceed to make the improvement, be sure to acknowledge that improvement with positive feedback. This helps to build trust and relationships with those you supervise and reinforces that you are not only focused on the negative. Being intentional about noticing and acknowledging positive behaviors is not only good for our employees but also good for our own mindset and development as leaders.
Closing Thoughts
Remember, clarity in feedback fosters growth and understanding and contributes to positive employee development and trust in the supervisory relationship. Whether using the SBI model or another framework, maintaining clear communication is key.
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